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Post by Cassie Fraser on Dec 25, 2006 18:41:59 GMT -5
Cassie had finally found the new home of Jacey and Taylor. Her heart was pounding like no tomarrow. She looked at this huge house, god was it beautiful. She walked up closer to it. She was wearing a long flowing black skirt with a black tank top. Her hair was just hanging losely down her back. She went up the first few steps then just stopped. Then looked back at Ry who was willing to do this with her. Though she wasn't sure how happy Jacey would be that he was tricked.
"I can't do this..i can't.." She mumbled to Ry with a tad bit of nervousness. But she didn't Cassie went foward knowing she had to do this. Cassie felt like she was going to cry but she held it in.
She walked up more steps but then just stopped and sat down. "What am I doing..why do I keep stopping." She whispeared then looked around the yard then at Ry. They had the perfect life and now look at her. Cassie was going to wreck it all now for them. For the most perfect guy in the world and probley the lovely little girl too. Her stomache wanted to just fall out, was this the right thing. Cassie bit her bottom lip thinking for a while and just looking at this wonderful house. A light went out though and that was the time she made up her mind.
She finally just started to just get up and went to the door. Some lights were on, and she knew he might be up. Soon Cassie knocked on the door softly, then she made it louder.
God i'm so stupid...he's gonna yell at me as soon as he sees me.. She thought to herself then looked around. Then she turned to her nephew. "Are you ready for this?" She asked him.
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Post by Braeden Jackson on Dec 26, 2006 17:09:48 GMT -5
Ry had agreed to go with his aunt to see his uncle Jacey. He knew this was going to be hard for her, and he didn't want to lie to his uncle that he needed to talk to him about something, when really all he was doing was bring him back something that he had lost about five years ago. Ry was right behind his aunt as he heard her mumble. "Yes you can, and you know you really want to, you just have to do it, you are perfectly capable of doing it. And I'm here for you." he reassured her, hoping that it would clear her mind of all the negativity that was going on inside of it right now.
Ry kind of stood back and watched what his aunt was doing. Hearing her ask if he was ready for this he couldn't help but to smile a bit. "Ya I'm ready, but the real question is, are you?" he stated. Whether she was ready or not, there was no turning back now. She had knocked on the door, and hopefully someone would answer it soon enough.
Ryder went up to the door with his aunt and stood in front of her. He was as tall, if not taller then she was already. He placed his arms around her giving her one last hug before one of the biggest moments in her life. "You'll be fine, " he whispered in her ear. Breaking away from the hug Ry turned around and knocked one last time on the door. Placing his other hand on the handle he turned it and opened it. "Uncle Jacey, I'm here....anyone home?" he said as he stepped inside.
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Post by Jacey Fraser on Dec 26, 2006 17:38:06 GMT -5
Jacey had rolled out of bed about half an hour ago, but it was still early. Not more than a half past seven. Taylor was still asleep in her bed, and Jacey really saw no point in waking her up. She'd eventually get up, and he knew from past experiences that it was best for them both if he let her sleep until she woke - unless it go to late. Jacey wasn't about to let her sleep the whole day away. But Jacey didn't think she would sleep much longer. After all she never did. Running a hand through his shaggy light brown hair Jacey slowly mad his way down the long winding stairs. He wore a pair of plaid pajama pants and no shirt. His hair was still tousled from sleep, and his eyes were still slightly cloudy.
Making his way into the kitchen, Jacey looked around. There were no lights on, but the room was still brightly lit as a result to the large widows that let in a lot of natural light. Moving toward the counter, Jacey took out a cup from the cupboard and took the orange juice from the fridge. He rarely drank coffee in the morning, but was more the type who like a glass of orange juice when he first woke up. Butting the juice back in the fridge, Jacey leaned against the counter. As he drank his glass of orange juice, Jacey slowly went over the things he had to do that day. He had promised Taylor that he would take her and little Paisley to the park, and he needed to go grocery shopping since there was basically nothing in the fridge to eat. Also, at some point in the day Taylor needed to take a bath, but that would probably have to wait until later or until just before bedtime.
As the list of things to do seemed to grow, Jacey heard a knock on the front door of his house. Frowning slightly, Jacey wondered who it could possibly be at this time of day. The only people he could think of was people who were trying to sell things or other members of his family. But if it was someone like Kirsten or Brae they wouldn't waist time knocking, they'd just walk in. With a sigh, Jacey pushed himself away from the counter and slowly made his way to the door. Just as he reached the front door, he saw it open, and who of all people, but his nephew Ryder. "I'm right here Ry," Jacey said with a smile. "What can I do for you? I hope your mother isn't driving you insane again," Jacey said jokingly as he walked closer to Ryder and the door.
As he reached the door, Jacey who stood just a bit taller than Ryder saw something behind Ryder. At first glance all he saw was the beautiful black hair. Jacey frowned slightly looking back over at Ryder. It was rare that his nephew would bring girls over, and generally the only time he would was when he'd done something he wasn't supposed to. Looking back to the door, Jacey was just about to say hi to the person when he saw their face. He words died in his throat and it felt like he heart had stopped. It was Cassie. Why was she back? Why had she left? What was she doing here? What did she want? Jacey had a million questions going through his mind but he couldn't find his voice to speak them. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. Staring at her, Jacey didn't know what to say. He probably looked like some dazed fool, but he couldn't help it. Cassie had been, and still was to this day the one women he had ever really loved. But she had run away. However, that didn't change the fact she had been and still was his wife.
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Post by Cassie Fraser on Dec 26, 2006 17:48:10 GMT -5
Cassie felt like she was going to throw up soon. Her stomache was in knots knowing that she would soon see Jacey again. God she was so nervous at that moment even with Ry there. He opened the door, and she didn't understand it. Is he sleeping..damn it..maybe this is my chance to get away now..no. She was fighting with herself to just leave and not even see him. But soon she heard his voice and that right there made her eyes well up. At first Jacey said nothing to her, and may be didn't notice her.
I knew it he doesn't even know me.. But right at the end of her thought she saw him just stare at her. Her eyes met his, and her heart dropped. Then she looked away. "Hello Jacey." She said softly. "Ry here thought it would be good if I saw you." She said.
All she wanted to do is run over and give him a hug. But he probley wouldn't want that at the moment. "It's been a while hun.." Cassie said stepping inside the house and closing the door. "I wanted to see you first but I thought it was best to see a few others though.."
She said taking a step toward him and her skirt almost touching the floor. And her belly button ring sparkling a bit. And after a while there was a long silence.
No one talked and she swore she could hear a pin drop. Cassie looked over at Ry then back down at the floor. She couldn't even look at Jacey. She felt so bad for what she had done. "I'm betting Taylor is sleeping too huh?" She asked for the first time about her own daughter. Then she stopped talking again.
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Post by Braeden Jackson on Dec 26, 2006 18:10:46 GMT -5
As his uncle Jacey met them down at the door, he smiled as he heard what he said. Funny he should think that, because most of the time Ryder came to visit his uncle on really no notice was because of that very reason. "Well no, not really anything you can do for me, but for her, ya there's lots." he told him uncle as he looked at him to her then back to him uncle again. Ry moved over so that Cassie could enter and be seen.
The silence in the room, he didn't know how to explain it. It could either be good, or akward, or it could be a sign of something worse to come. But for his aunt's sake he hoped it was good. Even he didn't know what to say. Ry stood there in silence as he obserbed there reactions to one another.
The way he's uncle was looking her over, and the expression on his face, Ry knew he had a million thoughts running through his mind and he didn't even have to say it. As he turned to look at his aunt he knew the same about her, she was still scared and nervious, he could tell just by looking at her.
Ry didn't feel the need to really stay by their sides as they talked things over, well that was if they were ever going to talk. "Uncle Jace, got anything good to eat? i'm hungry..." he asked, hoping that this was his way out. Though it would be no big surprise to his uncle that he was hungry, as he was always hungry. "And...urh, want me to go take care of Tay, while you two talk?" he stated more then really asked it as a question.
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Post by Jacey Fraser on Dec 26, 2006 18:36:21 GMT -5
Jacey watched as Cassie walked into the house and closed the door softly behind herself. He swallowed hard against the rising lump in his throat. She had been gone five years with not so much as a letter, and now she just shows up on his door step? Jacey couldn't see to take his eyes off of Cassie. She had been gone so long and he had missed her so much. But he had just managed to rebuild his life and get everything under control. And mostly, Cassie hadn't been a part of Taylor's life. How was he supposed to tell his little girl that this was her mommy? Jacey was only mildly aware of Ryder saying that no his mom hadn't been driving him insane. Momentarily, Jacey took his eyes off of Cassie and turned to his nephew. He gave him a small smile - the best he could manage right then. "Well just remember, if she starts driving you nuts, you come get me and I'll set her straight," he said jokingly.
Jacey turned back to face Cassie as she said hello. "Hi," he managed, his voice barely above a whisper. His throat was dry and Jacey didn't trust his voice. He simply nodded his head as Cassie said Ryder thought it would be a good idea if she came and saw him. Jacey who had thought himself frozen in placed involuntarily moved a small step backward as Cassie came closer. Was he afraid to be around her? Most likely. Jacey didn't know if he could trust Cassie anymore, and he didn't think it would be a good idea to get close to her again. She had hurt him more times then anyone else, and he didn't know if he could put himself through all of that again. Especially know with Taylor. He had to be strong for her if not for himself.
"Uncle Jace, got anything good to eat? i'm hungry..." "And...urh, want me to go take care of Tay, while you two talk?"
Jacey who had been lost in his thoughts was suddenly startled out of his thoughts as he heard his nephews voice. "Uhhh.." he started trying to figure out how to properly form a sentence. "I don't know," He said after a moment turning to look at Ryder. "I haven't been shopping in a week, so they're probably not that much. But help yourself to what ever you want. You know where everything is." Jacey gave him a small smile. "And Taylor, she's still in bed" Jacey said answering Cassie's question. "So don't worry about her yet." Jacey said with a small smile.
Turning back to face Cassie, Jacey didn't know where to start. What could he say? Looking at her for a long moment, Jacey opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He promptly shut his mouth trying to figure out what the hell he was supposed to say. "Soo..' He said after a long moment. Jacey knew it sounded dumb, but he had to say something. He couldn't just keep staring at her like some kind of idiot. "So your back?" Jacey phrased this as a question since he wasn't quite sure if Cassie was here to stay or not. Still looking at her, Jacey didn't say anything else. Instead he silently waited for her to say something.
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Post by Cassie Fraser on Dec 26, 2006 18:46:25 GMT -5
This was the most akward thing in the world for Cassie. Her heart was racing almost like the first time Cassie had kissed Jacey. God...this is so weird.. She thought looking around then hearing Ry say something. Then she smiled a bit hearing that Taylor was still in bed sleeping. She had heard him though say hi to her in a very soft voice. Then seeing that there was a table and she sat on it.
What could she say to make everything better? She had hurt the only man that had ever really cared about her. And now he might not even want her back as much as they loved each other. "Yeah i'm back Jacey..if you didn't notice." She said with a semi smile. What else could she say after that?
Now what.. She thought then took in a deep breath. "I know I haven't been here..I was stupid for leaveing." She said looking away from him. "And worst of all Taylor hasn't had her mum for the first 5 years and might not even want me either."
Why is this so hard... She thought having more tears well up. "You know I love you so much and I didn't want to hurt you Jace you know that's the last thing I want to do to you." Cassie paused for a moment the stood up and took a few more steps towards him.
She was close enough now to give him a hug..but she didn't. Her hands were shaking so badly. She took one of her hands and ran it threw her hair then looked up at him right in the eyes. "I need help..I'm a crappy mother and wife. I need you more then ever now in my life Jacey..but." She said walking over to the door again. "If you want me to never bother you again..I can just leave." She said looking back at him with a very weak smile and a few tears coming out.
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Post by Jacey Fraser on Dec 26, 2006 19:18:14 GMT -5
Jacey gave a small laugh and rolled his eyes as Cassie said yes she was back if he hadn't noticed. "Smart ass," Jacey mutter narrowing his eyes the same way he would have done when he was teasing Cassie when they were younger. He laughed slightly as he pushed a hand through his dark hair. Only know was he aware of the fact he wasn't wearing a shirt, and he was slightly self conscious about it. But why should he be? Cassie was his wife, hell they had a little girl together. Mind you Taylor had never met her mum, but that was only a minor set back... Right? Jacey listened as Cassie started to speak.
Once again Jacey was speechless, so he just let her talk. It was nice hearing her voice after all these years, but he could not deny what she was saying, so he himself decided to stay quiet. This time as Cassie moved closer to him, Jacey didn't move away. She was close enough now that Jacey could reach out and touch her. Close enough that he could take her and hold her tight to himself and never let her go. But he didn't. He couldn't bring himself to touch her afraid that if he did, everything that he had worked so hard for - that it would all collapse around him. As Cassie said that she loved him, Jacey looked down at the ground afraid to face this. How could she? She had left him. Slowly after a few moments, Jacey raised his head to look into Cassie's eyes. As Jacey looked deeper into Cassie's eyes, he could see all of her pain. It was the same pain that he had felt himself.
"I need help..I'm a crappy mother and wife. I need you more then ever now in my life Jacey..but." She said walking over to the door again. "If you want me to never bother you again..I can just leave." She said looking back at him with a very weak smile and a few tears coming out.
Suddenly Jacey made his first move since he had seen Cassie outside of his door. He wasn't going to let her go this easily. "Oh no you don't," Jacey said taking a step toward her and grabbing her by the wrist. "No more running Cassie. If all you tell me is true then running is th last thing you should be doing." Slowly Jacey pulled Cassie into him and held her closely. Noticing her tears, Jacey raised a hand and softly brushed her tears away. Taking his other hand and the one with which he had just wiped her tears away with, Jacey gently cupped her face within them. Slowly and softly, Jacey put his lips on hers. He kissed her softly at first, but slowly deepend it.
Pulling away a few minutes later, Jacey dropped his hands and took a step back from her. "You don't know how much I've wanted to do that and for how long." Jacey smiled his words slowly getting softer. "I don't know what to think Cass, I really don't" Jacey said with a sigh. "For once in my life, I really don't know what to do. I'm afraid that if I let you back into my life you're going to turn it upside down again, and I'm afraid that if I let you walk out that door I'll never see you again." Jacey sighed looking down at his feet. "I just don't know what to do."
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Post by Cassie Fraser on Dec 26, 2006 19:28:51 GMT -5
Cassie was so scared at that moment then feeling him grab her wrist. Her eyes widen then she smiled a bit it was so nice. It was also nice to feel him just hold her. To feel his skin against her's. It had been so long since she had felt this. It made her want to cry even more, but she didn't. Then she looked up at him, smiling that he wiped her tears then feeling him kiss her. Soon Cassie had wrapped her arms around him holding him closer and kissing him deeper.
It made her heart want to stop and also it took her breath away. "I know..i've wanted to kiss you so badly while I was gone..I was wrong for leaveing. I love you so much and I promise i'll never leave again. And if I do then kill me because I know it'll ruin everything." She said then looking around.
"Trust me again..I won't leave I don't want to. I want to be here for Taylor..and for you. I love you so much Jace. Please give me this chance to stay here and try over again. Please." She said then hugging him again and putting her face in his shoulder.
"I'm so sorry Jace for all of this. You know I love you a lot hun..i'm sorry for just having you take care of Taylor all by yourself. And making everyone unhappy like I did you." She said then she started to cry even more right onto his shoulder. Her tears getting on his skin. "I don't want to be alone again..I need you so much Jace..I just need you.." She whispeared with sobs in between.
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Post by Jacey Fraser on Dec 26, 2006 20:14:22 GMT -5
Jacey smiled as Cassie said to kill her if she ever ran away again. It could be arranged if that what she really wanted to happen to her if she ever ran again. But it wasn't in Jacey's mind the best solution. He more thought she just needed to grow up. She couldn't keep running away when life got rough. Hell, who ever said life was easy? No one he knew ever said that, and know why they never said that? Because when reality kicks in life is noway even close to being easy. Jacey ran a hand through his hair out of old habit as he listened to what Cassie was saying.
As she hugged him again, Jacey wrapped an arm around her glad to once again be close to her. Jacey hadn't realized how much he had missed being with Cassie for all these years, nor had he realized how much he had missed holding her in his arms and being close to her. As Cassie placed her head on his shoulder, Jacey gently rested his chin on top of her head. How could he ever regain his trust in Cassie? How many times had she run away now? How many times had Jacey been left behind with no word from her? Silently, Jacey listened to what Cassie was saying. Was she going to be true to her word this time? Was she really going to stay with him?
Noticing she was stating to cry hard, Jacey wrapped his other arm around her and held her closer. Slowly he ran his fingers up and down her back trying to calm her. "Shhh," he said his voice coming soft to further sooth her. "And I need you Cassie. More than you could ever imagine," Jacey said his voice still soft as he continued to hold his wife close to him. Her tears were warm as they rolled down his bare flesh, but he didn't care. All he wanted was this. To be close to Cass again, and to hold her in his arms. "It's ok I'm here and nothing is going to change that," Jacey said using one hand to stroke her hair still holding her close.
Jacey didn't care how long he had to stand there to get her to stop crying, he just wanted to be - once again, the man who was able to comfort and calm his wife in her time of need. "I love you," Jacey said softly next to her ear as he placed a kiss on the top of her head. Despite everything that had happened, Jacey's word were true. He did still love Cassie, even if his trust in her had been shattered. He didn't know where they would go from here, but this, Jacey thought was right where they needed to be. Where they needed to start. He wasn't sure if Cassie would ever regain all of his trust, but he would worry about that after. At that moment, all he wanted to do was, be with Cassie. His love. His wife.
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Post by Cassie Fraser on Dec 26, 2006 21:52:25 GMT -5
Cassie felt her back being rubbed as she cried. Her chest felt so heavy at that moment. It was so nice to be told that he needed her now and forever, but at the same time could he ever truly just love her. In Cassie's mind love can never be complete without trust. She felt that if she could never get all his trust then it might all fall apart.
What would happen now? Would Taylor ever really want her as a mother? Could Jace ever trust her? Too many questions for her at the moment.
Her dark brown eyes looked up at him. "I love you so much..I know you don't trust me, this is the second time i've done this. But even longer. Last time was because of my parents..this time was very different." She said then wiping her eyes. "I want to be here. I feel like I can't even take care of myself let alone my daughter and you." Her voice got soft again.
"Jace I know it'll take time for you to trust me, but I want you to know that you can trust me. Just look in my eyes and this time you'll see i'm honest with you so much.." She paused and leaned against the door. "I know there is nothing else I can say..but i love you." She said sliding down the wall. Then she put her head on her knees and just sat there thinking about how stupid she is.
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Post by Jacey Fraser on Dec 27, 2006 17:11:40 GMT -5
Jacey continued to hold Cassie as she cried ever so gently stroaking her hair to calm her. His heart told him to believe ever word that Cassie was saying, but his mind was telling him differently. How could he trust the women who had destroyed him so many years ago? How could he bring her into Taylor's life? He couldn't exactly say So ya Taylor this is your mummy. She left us five years ago for who knows what reason. But she's back now. No he couldn't say that. So how could he bring Cassie into his 5 year olds life. And how could he ever give her all his trust again? He had done that when he married her only to have it shattered not more than a year later. Jacey gave a small sigh as he thought about this, but he didn't voice any of his concerns. He would in time. But not then.
Jacey listened silently to what Cassie was saying not looking her in the eyes. Slowly he nodded his head. This time it had been a lot different. This time she had to excuse. She had left because she was scared and that was the end of it. And Jacey had never come to terms with this. He had never had the time to sit down and figure out what it was that had made Cassie run away. What about everything going on scared her. As Cassie said she couldn't take care of herself much less Taylor or Jacey himself. "But you don't have to take care of me Cassie," his voice was soft as he looked into her eyes. "I should be the one taking care of you. Making sure that's you're happy each day and not afraid. But it seems as though I've failed you in that," Jacey said gently looking away from her.
"Jace I know it'll take time for you to trust me, but I want you to know that you can trust me. Just look in my eyes and this time you'll see I'm honest with you so much.."
Jacey watched as she pulled away and leaned against the door. His bright blue eyes shinning with tears that he was determined not to show. He had worked so hard for everything that he had now. And the one things that he actually wanted was standing right in front of him, but he wasn't sure if he could take her. He knew she would be true to her words - Or at least he felt like she would be true to them. But Jacey had trust issues. Jacey watched as she sat down against the door and rested her head on her knees. "Get up Cass," He said softly offering his hand to her to help her up. "Cassie, you know I love you more than the world and I always have," Jacey paused taking a deep breath his eyes still sparkling. "But I need to take things slow" his voice trailed off as he looked into her eyes, his own pair of orbs begging her to understand where he was coming from.
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Post by Cassie Fraser on Dec 27, 2006 17:20:24 GMT -5
Cassie sighed then looked at him. "I do though. Your my husband I'm supposed to take care of you. I failed myself in that. For leaveing because of my stupid dreams. Because I thought you and Taylor were going to die just like my parents. I should of just stayed i'm in the wrong..and nothing I repeat nothing is your fault." She said standing up looking at him. "You have done nothing but try to be there for me..I on the other hand just left." She said knowing this would still take time.
That door looks really good..but I can't even though I feel like i'm gonna cry all day.. She thought. "I love you to." Cassie said then wiping her eyes. Though she could tell that Jace was getting a bit teary eyed. It broke her heart to see him like this. She didn't feel like she should even be near him like this. Cassie sat up on the table again. "So what do we do? How do we start again Jace? How do we tell Taylor i'm her mother.."
It made her sick to think she was Taylor's mother. She felt so bad that she had done that to her little girl. "How can I make things right?" She asked then stood up again. Then she tried to change the mood. "You look good though..after 5 years..wasn't sure if I could tell that handsome man was you." Cassie said with a slight laugh.
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